Sweet Sweet... Can You Taste It ?

Monday, October 31, 2005

Just another week.... of mix feelings

Monday early morning and me now sitting in front of my computer and writeing in my blog ... the week has pass so qucikly and so many things have happened.... had a major quarrel with a really close colleague of mine .. whom i have trusted and whom i have respected in my 4 years of knowing her.. but she really hurt me with what she does... thus I am so piss about the whole matter... shall i talk to her... shall i still treat her as a friend .. I wonder... and its like a devil and angel in my brain ... fighting to tell me what to do and whom to listen to ...

Don't see me on the outside like a strong gal... but then my heart really soft.. think soft like toufu ... can smash and break one... and hard to mend back after that incident that hard me .. and towards the person who have cause me such a hurt....

It all happened cause... on Wednesday... I have called M to help me to collect some stuff from the restaurant .. so M went ... but she went to complain and told A.... so the next day... A ask me why... so I was like ... I am really busy with work yesterday... and so I ask M to help me to go and collect... after I was like in my heart .... " why does she knows ??? " So i ask her ....

Me : How come u know that I ask M to help me ?
A : oh... H ask me about it
Me : How come H knows about it
A : She knows lor
Me : What the Hell... why V always tell tale one
A : No ... not V say one la
Me : How come u know its not V?
A : Its not her la .... do not anyhow accuss ppl la
Me : Then how come everytime when V is around .. ask some one to do things... H will know ....
A : Maybe she happened to work pass la ....
Me : I do not believe... nvm forget it ..
A : do not anyhow point finger if you are not sure la
Me : I am not.. jsut that its too much of a conicidence about the whole thing
A : No la ...
Me : We go back and ask S.. see what she says......

So we walk back ... and told S the whole things.... the first thing S say was ....

S : Its V
Me : See A... i told you even S thinks its V
A : I go ask H who told her
Me : why go ask H ... you think she will tell you
S : yeah H will not tell you one la
Me : why not lets do a test and see if H knows....
S : don't be silly la... what happens that V did not tell and H saw it ...
A : Yeah lor ... just let me go ask H and solve all..
Me : why must you make things bigger.... and go ask H * me getting more and more piss*
S : really cannot trust her man
Me : WHAT the Fuck la... who cares... everything also want to tell H ... why not also go tell H ... how many guys I have fucked before la !

* I stood up and walk to the lift ... to go upstair and get some stuff * at the lift ...

Me : Tell V that is she wants to tell tale or wants bring ppl into trouble... then come attack me ... do not drag other ppl in .....

I was shouting .... arrrrrrrr I hated her at the very point of time ... why can some ppl be like this...... so i went up and do my stuff and I was down like in less then 10 mins ....

sitting at my place... I was trying to write a message but as i think ... I was getting more and more sad.. then tears began to form in my eyes....

Me : S you have anythings you want to tell me
S : Tell you that V really did not do it
Me : why you say that now ?? waht did A tell you ....
S : just trust me ... V did not do it ..
Me : WHAT THE HELL MAN !!!!!! how can be be so much of a conicidence .... I am so sick and tired of the whole thing ... I have been working ... all my time here... every time also stay back ... I am so tired of it ... ... *tears was on my eyes... and I am chocking on my words*
S : We all know you have been really hardworking ... but this time really not V....
Me : I want to believe .. but i cannot believe all things are so conicidence... everytime V works... sure got something like that happened....
S : * calls A * A i think you better come over and talk to her... She is very work up now ... think you better tell her the truth la ....
S to Me : Let A explain to you....
Me : waht issit that you are hiding from me ?
S : I cannot tell you... I do not want to be call a Kay Poh ...
Me : okie nvm ... I will go and ask V myself.... * took my back and walk out*
S : OKIE OKIE I TELL YOU
Me : ya waht issit ....
S : Okie it was M who told A and A went to tell H ....
Me : WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT !!!!!!!!!!!! How can she do that to me .... * tears was forming in my eyes.... *

So i went with a heavy heart to change... ... why why must this happene to me... i actually got back stabb by some one whom i trusted for years.. some one whom i always think like a big sister to me ... how can how can .... by the time i reach my locker ... Ic ould not control my tears anymore.... I called Mi and started to cry even before i could tell Mi what happened... Mi was so worried.. so she say... want to talk about it .... and i agree... to we agree to meet in 5 mins at my office courtyard....

I was sobbing so hard and crying .. and telling her all over what have happened... she still could not believe that A will do that to me .... in the middle of the whole thing.... we suddenly saw a snake.... arrrrrrrrrr.... snake... what moron snake... distrub me when i am crying .... so no choice call for the Maintance guy to come and catch snake.... so while we were trying to tell the guys... where the snake was.... A came and look for me... so I had to escape from her... totally did not want to hear what she has to say to me at all.... as I walk back to office... S came to me and ask me to Stop walk and hear her... coz she misunderstood what A told her .... she was holding my hand ...

Me : AT THE COUNT OF THREE... LET GO OF MY HAND
Me : 1
Me : 2

S let go of my hand ... so i call for a cab ... and while waiting ... i have sort of cool down ... so i ask S .. what do u want to tell me ?

S : I heard wrongly.... A did not tell H at all... she was just using her name
Me : What the Hell !!!!!!! Take me as a fool now.... what the shit.....
S : I am sure she has her reasons.....
Me : what reasons....
S : I do not know ... u can ask her...

my cab came...

Me : I am going home.... do not want to talk about it ....

During the whole ride home... I was on the phone with Mi.... was telling her my total feeling ... and how i felt about the whole shit thing... I mean like what the hell is that... totally could not get over the whole matter.... so moron about it .... shit all those shit ppl..... came home... did not even feel like doing anything at all... so surf around on the net and then went to sleep early.... too tired from all those crying and do not want to think about anything .....

Friday... was working ... with A together... the whole day... we did not even talk for more then 20 sentance... can you believe it ... 20 sentance... me... I am so talkative... how did i manged it ... i really wonder... but I managed to do it ... did not even talk to her... for more then needed.....

Am i till now still thinking about the issue... I guess I am .... maybe to forgive some one or to forget some one ... its not that easy.... but just guess... it take time for me to ... as I am a person who can forgive a person quie easily... unless he or she ... pisses me off big time....

till the next time... ... have to let everyone know about the ONE party that i will remember all my life....

Miss.Panda growing up. 1:06 AM.

:About Me:

Name: PandaPig aka Chocbaby
I am just a simple gal, who love to make new friends and chat about anything under the sun ... or the moon or ... mars.... hehehe..... do drop me a message soon.....

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Movies, shopping, reading, KTV (fav past time), travelling, chatting on the phone Playing Conquer Online and uncountable.

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Romantic Novel.

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Loads... I am a movie goner.

:Favorite Music:

Sentimental Music, both in Engish or Chinese.

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